Dealing with being laid off for the first time

This is the very first post on Multiple Angles and while I’ll be featuring stories of many different people, I figured I should start with a story of my own to get the ball rolling. But the real question was, which story should I start with?

It didn’t take me long to decide. My Linkedin and Twitter feeds have been peppered with news about layoffs, and people in my network haven’t been spared either.

So I felt the time was right to share my layoff story and what I learnt from it.

Facing layoff as a bright-eyed twenty-something

I’ve actually been laid off twice; early on and then much later in my career. The experience and learnings were very different each time so I thought I’d talk about the very first time I experienced being laid off.

It felt like a very long time ago now when I was in my mid-twenties, in what was my second job since graduating. I was young, fresh, and settled into the role after about a year. Things were good in the small, cosy local office of around ten people. My colleagues were kind and we had a family-like environment in the office. I got along well with my manager who was someone who took the time to teach and mentor me.

I figured it was time to take a vacation, so I took some time off and travelled to see some friends in Australia. I had a fabulous time and after two weeks it was time to go home. My friends went to the airport to send me off and we were just having a coffee before I had to head in for my flight when I received the call.

My manager had called me even though I was on vacation. It was unusual so I took the call despite the expensive international call fees. And then he told me. The company had been acquired and most of us would be laid off.

It took a while for me to process what I had just heard. Since the notice period took effect immediately, my manager had to deliver the news immediately and could not wait for me to return from vacation. The timing couldn’t have been worse.

When it finally registered, I turned into a sobbing mess at the airport, surrounded by my concerned friends. But I had a flight to catch and even now, I’m not sure how I made it on the flight and got home.

A month later, I officially joined the ranks of the jobless and would not find my next job until three months after.

Being unemployed

Receiving the layoff news was, of course, just the start of the ordeal. There were many pressing things to figure out.

How do I break the news to my family? What would we do about our finances? How long would it take to find my next job? Would I actually be able to find my next job?

I was young, had little savings, and came from a family where every person’s income counted. Time wasn’t on my side and I came under huge emotional stress. No one close to me had ever been laid off before, so I had nowhere to look to for advice. I had to figure things out myself.

I ended up panicking; applying for any job that was out there, and taking up any part-time job that would pay me anything at all. I went into interviews so eager to please because I wanted the job, or rather, just any job.

The anxiety was real, and self-doubt multiplied every extra day that I remained unemployed. I would keep count of all the jobs I had applied to, the small number of interviews I got, and then the lack of offers.

It took three months for me to find my next job, and looking back, three months isn’t terribly long, but at that time, I had no way of knowing when and if things would work out.

Lessons learnt

Now the fact that I am talking about it today means that things did end up working out fine, but I walked away with many useful lessons from that early-career layoff experience. Let me share the key ones here.

You can’t avoid the emotional stress but you can focus on what you can control

We’re only human so we’re not immune to the fear of the unknown. Unless you’ve got concrete plans for alternative work/plans in case of a layoff, you’d likely end up stressing over what’s to come next.

Especially if you’re being laid off for the first time, it can be really hard to understand why it happened. For those of us who haven’t got quite as much money in the bank, money worries are also unavoidable.

I’m not the most optimistic person out there and I confess that this was the hardest part for me personally. It didn’t help that I had a very hard time finding my first job (after graduating in a bad economy), and was fearful that that long job search was going to repeat itself.

What did help me was taking up small part-time and temporary jobs. The income was small, irregular, and made only a small dent in my overall financial situation but it was something I could control and it helped give me breathing room to secure the next permanent job. It alleviated my main anxiety of not having any income.

Of course, taking on small jobs may not make sense for everyone. Some people take the opportunity to study and gain new skill sets. Some take some time off to recuperate and recharge. Yet others rethink their career path and take the chance to change careers.

Whatever it is, I realised that focusing on what I could control gave me purpose and direction, while reducing the “idle” time that I had to spend focusing on my worries.

You should be looking for the right job; not just any job

At one point, I had 30-40 open job applications because I was applying for anything remotely similar to what I wanted to do, and in any kind of company, big or small.

I was desperate and even seriously considered taking up an offer from a company that belittled me throughout my interview and even offered a lower salary and job title than what they had interviewed me for. (This is a longer story for another time…)

Thankfully I didn’t take it up and ended up finding a job with a more senior title, my first people management opportunity, and a higher salary than the job I was laid off from.

Looking back, I realised that applying for anything and everything just made me tired. Interviews are draining, and my hit rate was poor since I wasn’t necessarily applying for roles and companies that were a good fit for me and vice versa.

That feeling of desperation that made me almost accept that bad offer is something I have learnt to be very conscious of. It made me realise that I should never accept a job just because. The opportunity itself should be attractive, otherwise, I’d just be escaping an unhappy situation (being jobless) by going into another unhappy situation (being in an unsuitable job).

Things I’d tell my younger self

While I walked away with some key lessons in the immediate aftermath of the layoff, there are some additional pieces of advice I’d give my younger self after being laid off again later in life, and also escaping a few other layoffs.

• Remember that layoffs can happen to anyone at any time: You don’t have to worry about it all the time, but you should also not think you’re immune to it. That way, if it happens, you will focus less on why it happened and more on your next steps.

• Have a rainy day fund; it helps: The less pressure you have on your finances (even if a little), goes a long way in helping you feel less desperate and prone to making a bad decision on your next job

• Ask for help; it’s ok: Layoffs are becoming more commonplace and many people understand that good people get laid off too (and it isn’t their fault)! Some companies and recruiters even proactively reach out to people who’ve been laid off precisely because they know this could mean that good talent is now on the market

And so, that was my story about losing my job in my twenties. It was hard, but I got through it somehow. If you, or someone you know, is going through the same thing, I hope my experience helps you in some shape or form.